Nat News

Monday was Natalie's 6 month Dr's appointment. I was so excited to see how Natalie was growing but I was horrified to learn that my baby had only grown 1 lbs and 1 inch in two months! Basically I was starving her because I obviously wasn't making enough milk.

the past couple of days have been filled with a lot of 'withdrawls' and 'what if's' . I feel like a failure for not being able to make enough milk for my child and for basically starving her for the past two months. Shouldn't I have been able to tell? She was really fussy when she'd eat and she wouldn't eat for very long but I just thought it was teething since after she'd eat she was so content and happy and wouldn't want to eat again for 3 hours!

My only thought after the Dr's appt. was "When we get home lets give her a bottle." But Natalie hated the bottle and the only thing that calmed her down was nursing but I knew that I wasn't giving her what she needed. Monday she only ate 3 times! I went to walmart and got a huge package of bottles and finally found a nipple that Natalie would take.

I can't even explain the emotions I have been through. During all this I was debating on whether I gave up too easily or not. Should I have gone and gotten something to try and increase my milk supply? Should I still nurse her and just suppliment afterward? Should I nurse her morning and night? Did I make myself lose my milk because I was trying to eat healthier? I called almost everyone I know to get their opinion and just when i'd made my decision something would happen and I'd question it all over again. Let's just say it's been a rough few days.

I decided Monday night though not to nurse at all so now I sit here bound by my too tight sports bra and am so 'FULL' and my chest feels like it ran a 10k marathon. I went swimming last night just so my boobs could have a break from gravity it was so wonderful I didn't want to get out! :)

Natalie is doing much better now. She still hates the bottle but she'll take it and eat at least 3-4 ounces at a time depending on her mood. She is also SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT! If that was the only good thing that came from bottle feeding I think I would do it all over again. The same thing happened with Caleb I lost my milk when he was 4 months old and basically that's when Nat stop growing too. I guess I just wasn't made to be a dairy farmer :(