I Want my Newspaper!!!!

I've just returned from my last day of substituting for my cousin's paper route. For the past week I have gotten little sleep (I can tell this because I ran over a trash can today that I didn't even see and yesterday I ran a stop sign on main street) as I went to bed at 11-12 every night and got up a 3:00 to go and fold newspapers. After the couple days I got really really good. I could fold 118 papers in 19 minutes and deliver to everyone on the route in 58 minutes. I rolled both of my windows down and weaved in and out of both sides of the road and with much skill ficked the papers out of either window onto a waiting driveway or doorstep. Then disaster struck.

On Monday I was so tired that I slept right through my alarm and when I woke up it was 6:18 and the papers have to all be delivered by 6:30 A.M. sharp. There are some really onorey people that NEED their papers ASAP! I got yelled at by one guy who chased my car down and told me "if you can't get the paper in the exact spot I tell you then don't deliver it anymore". So, needless to say I was more than a little stressed. Usually when you are late the boss lady, Lori, calls you and tells you to get your butt there pronto, I recieved no such call. I got my whole family out of bed and we all drove as fast as we could to the Spectrum parking lot where I was hoping that my papers were still out sitting in the parking lot. They weren't. I didn't know what to do I had no numbers to call and I drove part of the route and saw no papers in the driveways so obviously no one had done my route for me. I spent all day stressing about how big of a Retard I was and beat myself up pretty good.

Tuesday morning I was in my car folding papers and Lori comes up and proceeds to yell at me about why I didn't get up or answer any number of her phone calls (she was calling the wrong number) and did I know that my cousin could lose her route for this and on and on..... through the whole thing I apologized profusly and tried to exude a precense of humility so that the Newspaper Gods might spare me. And it work because they did! Lori had done my route for me and she said that she usually doesn't give the route back to a sub after a mistake like that but said she'd have me do it still.

I mean this whole thing was about NEWSPAPERS! Now if I get your insulin or epi pen to you late or not at all then you can rip me a new one, but i'm pretty sure that no one has ever died from not having their newspaper with their morning coffee.